Surgery in a Korean Hospital

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Some of you may know our story of why we are talking the big "S" word and some of you may not. To make a long story short, our 4 year old daughter has been fighting constant battles with kidney infections for the past 3 years of her life. We found out she had kidney reflux right when she turned one. We first noticed she was having problems when she would sleep for 18 hours a day, had a 105 temp, vomiting like crazy, having horrible diarrhea, could not and would not eat or drink and tons of other horrible problems.  We constantly visited the Drs and the ER during that month but her problems were brushed under the rug as "first time parent stupidity". Im sorry I know my kid better than any Dr. and for us to go to the ER and Dr. 6 times in a month because of her condition there is obviously seriously wrong.  Finally a genius at the ER decided to take a urine culture which showed that she had more white blood cells then she did red and that was a big WOAH! Mmmm stupid dumb first time parents RIGHT?! They rushed us off to the closest Children's Hospital which we stayed for two weeks. We found out the complexities of her condition. She had 3 uriters from her kidneys to her bladder. You're only supposed to have 2. One of the tubes was pushing the urine from her bladder back up to her kidneys causing the infections. The temporary fix was to be on antibiotics for a year. That seemed to help but she lost all of her appetite. She was extremely thin but healthier. The lesser evil of the two I guess. During her battle with kidney problems it has been in and out of hospitals, constant test being ran, blood cultures, urine samples, back and forth back and forth. When she was off her medicine she would instantly have kidney infections. This whole time I kept thinking Lord, if I could take this pain and suffering away from her I would do so gladly in a heart beat. Unfortunately, she was dealt this card for whatever reason but we believe there is a reason behind every kind of madness. She is an amazing child who has shown barely any fear and remains stronger than most adults I have met. She has taught us more than she can ever imagine and her spirit to keep going and keep smiling is just amazing and heart warming. She is our strong and beautiful princess.

We were told what we were expecting to hear for the past 3 years. "She WILL need surgery in order for her kidney problems to subside." Where were we when we got this bittersweet news? In Korea!  We knew it was coming but knowing our 4 year old daughter was going to go through an intensive and fairly new procedure in a foreign country was mind blowing.  In order to prepare for the events of the surgery we did tons of things to insure a smooth stay at the hospital. I asked around like a crazed mother about how Korean Hospitals were. What people experienced while there and what to expect. Any advice I received, good or bad, I took to heart. After I got info on that my planning went into action mode. We talked to our daughter every day about how the Dr. was going to fix her problems with her belly and that she won't feel right for the first few days after but the end result is her being healthier and stronger. She took the news fairly easily. My advice is if your child is going to have surgery, don't throw them under the train and not tell them anything until they are under the knife. How would you feel if that was you? ANGRY and upset and lost and worried and scared. Tell them in the kindest and least scariest way you can. Insure them its ok to be scared and ok to cry but you will be by their side the whole way through. Comfort is key. Again, research what to say to your child before, after and during the traumatic experience.

So for more preparations for the big stay I was on a mission to  find things at the store or around the house that I knew would bring her comfort and joy and I started to pack our bags. I asked her to pick a toy to take with her to keep her safe when Mommy and Daddy may not be there. She picked a Totoro stuffed animal and her Arial barbie. In her "fun bag" I included colored pencils, coloring books, books to read, beads, toys, puppets, games, movies, learning items (flash cards, preschool homeschooling book, etc), munchie food and whatever else I thought would help her in this process. Then of course in our general bag I packed two extra blankets, pillows (the ones in the Korean hospitals are HARD as rock), clothing, toiletries, flip flops for the shower, and everything else to keep us feeling as decent as possible. Where would I be without my computer and a few books? LOST! Then since we planned on Daddy to be home most of the time while I stay in here with her I prepared a bunch of snack foods and dinners for us. I prepackaged everything, labeled everything and put a schedule down of when these things were to brought to us. A good system right? I have a great hubs that deals with my crazy planning and OCD about having things in order. Do you blame a Mama for wanting to be prepared and ready for anything?

My "Menu" Plan for what my hubs should bring to us when we were at the hospital. Excuse my writing. I hate it! Hahah

Bags were packed, check list ready then the phone call came to head off to the hospital for pre op. I spent the night with her while her Daddy and Sister went home. Can I say what a ROUGH night. We were woken up all through out the night. So after 3 hours of sleep we were whisked off into a world of WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON? We were roughly told what was going to happen but the language barrier is an interesting experience.  We sat and sat and sat which seemed like a lifetime waiting on the surgery to be over. No one came out and told us how anything was going so it was a sit-on-the-edge of the chair for a 4 hour wait. Finally the time came when they told me I could go back there to wait with her until the medicine wore off. This whole experience I have thought that this hospital reminds me of an ant farm. Everyone is so so so busy and there is literally TONS of staff members always on duty but there is some method to the mayhem and everything flows with a weird smoothness. Everyone has their job and they know and when to do it. Back in the states one nurse would be able to do EVERYTHING but here there is about 5 different Nurses/Doctors that take care of my daughter's specific needs. Its new and different but hey it works and Im not complaining.

The whole time we were at the hospital I could tell she is feeling miserable can you blame her? Poor girl. So, we were stuck here in the hospital for 6 days. Hopefully all this will pay off in the long run. *PRAYING HARD* My advice for you if you ever have to stay in a hospital away from your normal comfort zone is don't be afraid to ask tons of questions from the hospital and from other people who have stayed there. Research is your best weapon. Of course you will hear both good and bad things but like I always say prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I am glad I researched and prepared for our stay here because it's really paying off. You may feel the need to get frustrated at the staff because of the language barrier and the culture differences but also remember that it is just as hard for them as it is for you. They are here to make you feel better not worse. Stay calm and be collective and if all else fails draw a picture or ask the people at the international desk to help. They also gave me after hours phone number to call just in case if I needed someone to translate. Also, your insurance should have a case manager that calls you every day and keeps in touch with the hospital so that way EVERYONE is on the same page and any of your un-answered questions get answered. If you are not sure if your insurance has case managers just ask. They make your world amazingly easier. Don't be afraid to call them any hour of any day. It's their job to help. Honestly, most of the staff that I came across spoke English well and of course I'm pretty good at reading body language. Living in a foreign  country for 2 years you tend to get accustomed to their mannerisms and understanding their body language. It becomes second nature.

This was the ONLY American Meal that was good

The cleanliness and being on top of things is also a thumbs up in my book. They changed her bedding every day and gave me clean gowns to dress her in. The bathrooms were a little disgusting but not as bad as I was told they were going to be. Just make sure to bring flip flops for the shower and lay down hospital towels on the floor to step on. As far as the hospital food, well its hospital food. It will never be good. At first they were giving the "American" choices on a menu because I guess they think most American's would rather eat crappy American Hospital food than semi decent Korean Hospital food. So eventually I got tired of eating the plastic nastiness (my daughter did not have any appetite so I ended up eating her food) and asked for the Korean food. The nurse looked at me like I was joking and said are you SURE?!!? Yes, ma'am I want Korean food not American food. Her eyes lit up. I tell you when your in a foreign country the natives really like the fact that American's or other cultures appreciate their food. Changing to the Korean food was the best decision I could have made. Everything was cooked right, tasted good and it was warm unlike the American food. So if you are up for eating Korean food GO FOR IT! Now mind you, Korean's do not eat typical breakfast food. It's the same food they would eat for lunch or dinner. So no cereal, pancakes or coffee for you. Like I said I totally did not mind. It was awesome!

So our night in shinning armor...errr I mean my hubs is here to whisk us away to go back home. FINALLY feels like forever we were cooped up here. Here's to a Happy Lunar New Year and better health for our daughter. Cheers Cheers. Thanks for reading. I know it was a long one but I had A LOT of time in the hospital to write. Until next time have a great one!